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Hey, Army!
You and I are so similar in our journey to find the boys and the impact they have had! There’s that part of you that camps out in the back of your mind and continues to wonder if you’ve lost your mind. All reason. Like, is this a mid-life crisis and I’ll snap out of it at some point? Do I just need a serotonin boost in this phase of life and they naturally give it and eventually I’ll move along?
That’s what my husband expected. That this was just another phase. Another thing that I would throw myself into, but the interest would quickly fade. Like my cookie decorating phase. It came and went with the holiday season and all I was left with were a ton of cookie cutters that would never again see the light of day.
But this. Them. They will stick with me. The seven. I’ve emotionally connected not only with them but their messages and who they are. As people. Not as entertainers. Not as good-looking boy band members. As people who have so sacrificially shared so much of themselves with us.
And Army. So yeah, some are off the rails and make me roll my eyes, cringe, or shake with anger when they put the guys in peril with their ridiculous airport antics. But for the most part, I adore the people who also appreciate the seven for the amazing people they are.
With so many people reaching out to me in private messages, emails or even comments on TikTok, I saw that there were so many like me. I wasn’t alone in this. There were others who “got” me and completely understood this love and appreciation for the seven. And the more people reached out sharing their stories of feeling alone on this Army journey , and the more content I consumed, I had a realization: We (as lonely whale type Army) witness these seven men connect. Constantly. They connect with each other and they connect with us. They have relationships we all envy. They understand the importance of belonging and being fiercely loved, celebrated and accepted. We see that. We want that. We need that. And the people around us don’t necessarily get it so we sit in that place of knowing, understanding, needing and wanting and having no outlet to find it, absorb it and thrive.
Until we meet other Army who are just like us. Those we can connect with. Those that walk beside us. Celebrate a part of life that others don’t. That grieve in moments that we also grieve - when others may think we’ve gone off the deep end.
What Army find in each other is exactly what the seven model for us and develop a thirst for. Love. Connection. Friendship.
So yeah, I’m going to stay connected. I’m going to continue to find ways to swim alongside the lonely. To be that person they can share a thought about what a lyric meant to them. Or how they are exceedingly missing Yoongi in the moment, or need to hear Hobi’s laugh. Because I get it. I need those things too.
We aren’t crazy. This isn’t a faze. And we aren’t alone. There’s a huge Army out here and hungry to share this journey of life that can’t be fully explained but can be completely felt.
Love you, Army!
Let’s make the most out of our time away from the seven so when they return, the entire world feels the explosion of our joyful reconnection.
The future’s gonna be okay. We’ve got each other. Our boys have trained us well.
Borahae.
Stefne
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74 comments
It’s as if you heard everything I my heart and mind and wrote it way more elegantly then I ever could. So happy to have found my “people” after feeling I needed to hide myself away for being “too old” for “boy bands”, but ARMY know BTS is no ordinary “boy band”, not by a long shot! This 53 year old feels so bonded to your words & thank you, Stef for taking us on this journey with you. Borahae 💜
Stefne, you’ve said everything that I have been unable to say myself. I am 60 years old, found BTS in September 2022. I hate to admit that more than a few ARMIES have made me feel like I don’t belong simply because of my age. As a result, I have tended to keep to myself, being that lonely ARMY. I have now introduced my daughter-in-law to BTS and she’s gone down the rabbit hole too, lol, which has been great fun. I am so glad to have found you, and the others here. I feel as though I have “found my people”. My family enjoys seeing me have so much fun being ARMY and fully support my devotion to our 7 amazing men. I have enjoyed your TikToks and now your blog. Again, I am glad to have found you and look forward to whatever you post next!
Stefne, you’ve said everything that I have been unable to say myself. I am 60 years old, found BTS in September 2022. I hate to admit that more than a few ARMIES have made me feel like I don’t belong simply because of my age. As a result, I have tended to keep to myself, being that lonely ARMY. I have now introduced my daughter-in-law to BTS and she’s gone down the rabbit hole too, lol, which has been great fun. I am so glad to have found you, and the others here. I feel as though I have “found my people”. My family enjoys seeing me have so much fun being ARMY and fully support my devotion to our 7 amazing men. I have enjoyed your TikToks and now your blog. Again, I am glad to have found you and look forward to whatever you post next!
My first two years of Army were sssoooo lonely. I’ve been Army since March 2020. My kids thought I was losing my mind. They said you can’t even understand what they’re singing. The people in the office said I was obsessed just because I listened to the music all day. Only my grandchild, Olivia, who was 7 at the time, latched on to their music and kpop. I am in my mid 50s and all I saw were older Army getting tortured on social media for being too old to be a kpop Stan. I live in a Southern state so there are very few even young army. But I had all of this energy and admiration and love and I wanted so badly to share it and talk to someone about it. I wanted to be part of this wonderful fandom. But I kept quiet, I thought I don’t want to embarrass the guys in BTS, some old lady at a concert yelling at them. So after watching all of their series and lives and listening to their music, I opened a Tik Tok account last year. I didn’t get the courage to comment on the videos, I was just creeping around to see what was out there. I felt like (for lack of a better word) not worthy to be Army. The kpop culture does focus on youth. But I saw how much BTS genuinely loved Army and expressed that. And I too was drawn to their love of each other. I had come across other kpop music in the last few years and no group could match their love of their fandom (though I think Stray Kids Stays are
Close). Eventually I saw an 86 year old Army from New Zealand, not just posting Army news, but doing lives and wearing Army gear. I was so impressed. I finally commented on a couple of her lives. She was so accepting and encouraging and told me to be the fan. So when my ex husbands wife (yes it’s weird) who I consider a friend, got me tickets to a kpop concert in Atlanta last Christmas, I went!! It was
Around the holidays which have never been the same since my Mom died. I was really down. I am not married anymore and sometimes you just get lonely and want to be a part of something. So I went. I took Olivia and she was ecstatic. Before the concert I had a crying spell fearing everyone would point at me and say I was too old to go. I was worried about my outfit. have never felt so mad at my age. No one cared! I wasn’t the only older person there. My daughter talked me off the ledge and I went. It wasn’t BTS but it was fantastic, life changing. It gave me the courage to book tickets in May for Agust D’s show in Chicago. He is my bias. I told myself I would regret if I didn’t go. I grew up in Chicago and it was the first time I’d been home since I left as a teenager. So going home and seeing Yoongi was a dream. The concert was
FANTASTIC. My hands shook the entire time but I waved my light stick and sang along with the crowd. And when he spoke to Army, he was talking to me too. I felt the love. So here I am. I am in this wonderful group. I watch all kinds of kdramas, I’ve discovered other groups to love like Stray Kids, EXO, Shinee, Black Pink, the Rose, TXT and Seventeen. I am deep in. I have to admit, I am still not excited about this break. BTS has kept me alive and engaged and interested in the whole culture like I haven’t been about anything in years. I will be Army till I die. But with the help of all of you, most of whom are older Army, I will survive. I am so excited for their comeback. Let’s meet at a concert when the tour the US!!!!! I want to experience my first full BTS concert with people who are excited as me. Can we do it? Also I inherited my grandfathers jacket years ago when he died. I put patches on it relating to him but I thought why don’t I also add my kpop patches and pins and things I love and wear it to my next concert. I love it and can’t wait to wear it to an event. Am I a weirdo? Love to all! I just got a button machine if anyone wants some BTS related pins, I will try my best.
So I’m literally crying at this moment! ~ These 7 Beautiful Men are forever in my life!~You articulated how many of us feel!~ I’m happy I can experience this with you all! Stef you got this up in a flash! Thank you so much for a place that feels like home!~